Letters to Taylor: On Adoption

Letters to Taylor: On Adoption

Our precious girl,

Words seem futile as all your body is capable of right now is breathing. But December 31, 2018 was such an epic day that I had to try to write this letter and read it to you before you make your heavenly entrance.

Since you were 3 years old, you’ve called my Matthew, “Daddy Matt.” The first day we met him at the zoo over 18 years ago, you were enamored. I think the feeling was mutual since Mama failed to bring a stroller and he carried you much of that little park adventure day.

I really can’t explain to you what happened to your relationship with your biological father. While it began strongly, circumstances changed over the years and gradually it faded. It’s been 10, almost 11 years, since he’s seen you and 4 years ago he signed over his guardianship rights over to me when you reached age 18. I can never answer for someone else’s choices and that’s not what this letter is about.

For 19 years, Daddy Matt has been your protector, provider, and playmate. His idea of fatherhood has nothing to do with blood and everything to do with emulating his heavenly Father. He has loved you and continues to love you unconditionally. He’s chased you in ballparks, carried you on Wish trips, cleaned up your messes, and cared for your every need. His love for you is unconditional and his heart is bigger than the moon.

When you became very ill two months ago and we thought we might lose you, both Daddy Matt and I began to think a little differently. And it bothered him to think that you would not bear his name. I suppose it never really bothered me because God knows who your daddy is on this earth. The opinions of others can’t compete with that. But after thinking it through, we decided to file adoption paperwork. We didn’t know how sick you were quickly going to become.

Then it came down to the wire. Two weeks ago when you landed in the hospital, I began making phone calls to try to get the adoption expedited. Each day last week, I thought that you would leave us for heaven and I was afraid to hope that the adoption would be finalized before you died. On last Friday, we paid fees we didn’t really have and made desperate phone calls, as well as prayed for the Lord to sustain you until Matt could make you his own by giving you his last name.

The guardian ad litem came to our home on Saturday and completed her report over the weekend. She submitted it Monday morning and at noon, we received a phone call that the magistrate would hold a hearing at 2pm. I literally felt like I was in another world or maybe a reality tv show. The kids piled in the van, Matt drove from work, all of us scrambled down to the courthouse, including two of your aunts who had just “happened” to come in town for a visit. God is so cool in the way he works details.

Just before we left the house, I whispered in your ear that we would be right back. That Daddy has some big news he’ll tell you when he gets home. And could you hold on for us until the hearing was over? I don’t know if you understood a single word I said, but I had to hope.

Remember that day when you were 6 and you wore a big sister shirt for the first time? You stood over Michael’s hospital baby bed and said, “This is Michael. I’m a big sister.” It wasn’t long after that that you lost all your words.

That baby brother stood tall beside the magistrate in her robe on Monday and after affirming his father’s love for you, he pounded the gavel with two miraculous, beautiful words:

Adoption granted.

I can’t help but sob as I type it.  I know that disease has wrecked your life from the moment you were born into this world. But I also want you to know that love has rocked your world from the moment you were born. I’m wondering if that’s why you’re still holding on today. You know how much you are loved.

Go to Jesus, Taylor Wojnarowski.

I can hardly fathom it, but He loves you even more than we do.

Your Mommy & Daddy

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    35 Comments

    1. This is more than beautiful. I cannot describe how much I have learned from this. I have been in a “spiritual college”. How can I thank you Rachel and your family for this? And specially Taylor. Words aren’t enough. But: thank you for sharing! Your life indeed was not in vain on the earth. Enjoy eternity!

    2. As we said see you later our hearts fill sad but we also rejoice knowing that no one on earth will love Taylor as Jesus loves her, she is in the greatest place in the universe now. I just pray to the Lord for him to strength you n your family to pass through this valley, He is your good shepherd He will confort all of you in Jesus name. Amen. My love to you and your family

    3. My heart aches for you. I can’t imagine your pain. Your husband is a wonderful man to raise Taylor as his own; my husband has done the same for my son whose father made decisions I will never understand. God always has a plan and a purpose that is revealed in his time. I pray for peace for your family.

    4. Thank you for sharing. Your words to Taylor are so heartfelt and loving. May your family be blessed and sheltered under the wings of the Most High God.

    5. Aimee Fry says:

      Thank you so much for sharing these sweet intimate letters to Taylor, with us. I have been reading them and praying for your family. This one especially has touched a special place inside my heart as I also have a step father who took on the role my biological father chose not to. Unfortunately, my bio-father never allowed my step dad to adopt me, so I carried around a last name that I felt didn’t truly fit who I was until I got married. I’m so glad Taylor’s adoption is complete and I’m so thankful for a Heavenly Father who never leaves us or forsakes us. May He bring you peace and comfort.

    6. Martha Hughes says:

      I have two teen girls, they are 2 miracles from God. Lovely letter written to a beautiful girl. Sending my love and prayer to you all. May God bless you. Thank you for sharing with us Rachel. We are blessed to have a loving heavenly father 🙂 xo

    7. Congratulations to you all … God’s Blessings Always for Every Heart!!!

    8. Oh my, Rachel! Tears are streaming down my face, right now. This is so precious, and so beautiful!
      Praying for all of you!

    9. A truly amazing gift for Taylor. Thank you, Matt.
      “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
      Colossians 3:14 ESV
      Robin ^jj^

    10. Kim Stewart says:

      Oh sweet Rachel, praying for Taylor and all of you. What an incredible example of faith and love you are. I have been so encouraged by you sharing your story and allowing us to love Taylor from afar.

    11. Wow. What a beautiful story. You are so brave. My heart just breaks for you and your family right now. Praying for you in the days to come.

    12. Joe and Kathy D'Ambrosio says:

      Only God in heaven and his caretakers on earth who he entrusted to Taylor’s care, know the trials, tribulations, love and joy experienced during her special journey. Your family was perfectly matched to our Lord’s exact specifications for her, and your richly deserved reward will more than encompass the highest cloud, and a very special place with Taylor, in his kingdom. Rachel, you and Matt are truly God’s angels on earth, preparing the way for your entire family who will someday share Taylor with you once again.

    13. Vicki Webb says:

      I am so very touched by the life and love of this stunningly beautiful young woman. May God continue to richly bless your lives and may she have perfect peace and rest.

    14. This is so beautiful and sad at the same time. But God has granged your families wish and now it complete .
      Taylor knew this needed to happen I truly believe that as her spirit rises to her heavenly home she knows that the love that has surrounded her and this sealed it.
      Prayers for you and your family as you wait ….
      ?

    15. Christalyn says:

      God’s timing is perfect. So touched by your letter today. Praying for you and your precious family.

    16. Karen Roth says:

      Beautifully written and very touching. Thanks, Matt for being a Father. ???. I’m just sorry about it having taken so long in the coming.

    17. How absolutely beautiful, Love conquers all.

    18. Both of my children’s were adopted. It is awesome that Taylor now bears Matt’s last name since he has been her Daddy for so long! Prayers for all of you!

    19. May God lift you up in his sweet, soft, warm blanket of love, protecting you from any harsh edges of loss. What a beautiful man Taylor’s Daddy Matt is; how blessed her spirit is to feel his love! Thank you for sharing during this time.

    20. Rachel, this brought tears to my eyes. God be with each of you as Taylor completes her earthly visit.

    21. Gail Dudlicek says:

      Rachel,
      My heart both aches and rejoices. What a beautiful moment to share with all of us. Thank you for blessing us so much with your story. God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

    22. Such a picture of God’s relationship with us! Wish I could be there to simultaneously mourn with you and rejoice with you as your precious Taylor runs into the arms of Jesus, healthy and singing His praises. ♥️

    23. Faith Baker says:

      We adopted our two boys. Thank You for sharing! What a blessing you are!

    24. Oh what a loving Father we have! Rest easy previous one, you are truly loved!

    25. Thank you Rachel for sharing your heart’s journey as you travel this incredibly difficult pathway. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like to walk in your shoes. Your faith encourages, inspires and challenges me. Praying for that peace which passes all understanding to be present and real for you as you prepare to let go. xx

    26. You are a beautiful family and your love for each other is so special.
      You are all in my thoughts and prayers and will be in them now and when your Taylor girl goes to Jesus. Praying that she isn’t suffering. She will definitely know how much she is loved by her mama and daddy. God bless you all xxxx

    27. What a story of love. Praying for you and your family.

    28. Beautiful ❤️

    29. God Bless and may he sustain and comfort your family during this very difficult time.

    30. Rachel, my heart breaks and rejoices at the same time. So much love to leave behind but, oh, the glorious love of our Father to go to. My heartfelt prayers are with you and your family in this time of waiting and will be with you when the wait is over. May God’s presence and peace surround your family.

    31. Diane Draveski from Michigan says:

      ohmy Im sobbing. God Bless your Matt ( and you all).✝️♥️

      Reminded me of Joseph… Jesus’ adopted earthly Father.

      ohmy Im crying again. Love to you all. Prayers.

    32. You all are such a beacon of hope in this sad world! What a wonderful man you have in Matt! You children are truly, truly blessed by you both! What an uplifting story of love, Rachel. Thank you so very much for sharing it with all of us! You are such an angel on earth!

      May God bless you all, and we are praying for sweet Taylor!

    33. Beautiful! Had me in tears thanking God for such an example of His love. May God continue to give you all His love and continued grace, strength and comfort.

    34. Sherry George says:

      My heart breaks with you as ai read each letter to Taylor. I know when she closes her eyes on this earth and opens them in heaven, she will look into the eyes of our precious Jesus. So while my heart hurts with you, my heart is happy knowing she will be free. Prayers for each of you.

    35. Rachel,

      No words can express how moved I am to read this.

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