Letters to Taylor On Your Second Heavenly Birthday My dearest Taylor, Twenty-four years ago today, you kept me awake all night. Though still in the womb, you tossed and turned; I tossed and turned. And after hours of labor, you hadn’t budged. As I watched your monitor numbers dip, the…
Letters to Taylor: On Significance Dear Taylor, 415 days have passed since you closed your eyes for the last time. There is no significance to today other than that. My fingers are shaking as I try to write to you. I desperately will them to work. They do not want…
Letters to Taylor: On Holy Days My dear Taylor, I have typed your name and now I sit here watching it blur as the tears fill my eyes. I look up to see five more blurry names on the chore chart. My blessings in the form of babies, only they…
Letters to Taylor: On Grief’s Learning Curve My dear Taylor, With everything in me, I am longing for you to slip your hand into mine as you did so often in the last couple years of your life. It was my sign that you longed for my comfort and without…
Letters to Taylor: On Moving Dear Taylor, I’ve paused for quite some time after typing your name because the reality of your absence floods over me again. O my sweet girl, what a long ten months it has been as I’ve tried to learn how to live without you. Time…
Letters to Taylor: On Your Birthday My dear Taylor, Happy Birthday in heaven. While I have no doubt that you’ve experienced an incredible party with Grandma Charlotte and many friends, I dreaded the actual day. One of the hardest places in grief is having the wisdom to know when to…
Letters to Taylor: On Weeping My sweetest Taylor, I’ve barely begun to type the words to you and tears flow down my cheeks faster than I can wipe them away. I’ve avoided writing to you because it’s agonizing and it doesn’t feel like the gaping wound in my heart is…
Letters to Taylor: On Heaven’s Scent My dear girl, Tomorrow will be six months since you left us for heaven. I stood at the beach last week staring at the waves as though they represent life without you here. Sometimes I’m on top of the wave, enjoying an incredible view,…
Letters to Taylor: On Freedom My Girl, It was July 4, 1999. Your bouncy pigtails danced in the evening light as we walked the field where my mama grew up. I remember how busy and beautiful you were at age 3. When darkness fell and your Uncle Chip began shooting…
Letters to Taylor: On Forgetfulness My dear girl, The ache of missing you is waking me in the middle of the night. It’s been a couple weeks since I sat down to “talk” to you, to write out the thoughts that continually float around in my head and surround my…
Letters to Taylor: On Procrastination Sweet T, I miss you. To say that I miss you doesn’t even begin to explain how I feel. My heart holds a void like I’ve never known before. I’ve been looking back at our lives from the past few years and pondering over the…
Letters to Taylor: On Numbness My sweet girl, I have not wanted to write to you in the past couple weeks. I knew that as soon as my fingers began to type words that I long to speak to you in person, tears would fall, and pain would surge into…
