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Building Trust in Marriage
What does “trust” mean in a marriage? How do we really show trust? Does it mean foregoing prenuptial agreements? Giving one another full access to our bank accounts? Living with one another day in and day out, flaws, failures and all? Admitting every sin we’ve ever committed to our spouse?
When I think about the word “trust,” I believe that trust is having a belief in a person that no matter what, he or she holds your best interest in their heart. They will always do their utmost to treat you with respect and dignity and never desire to harm you in any way. When you trust a spouse, you are believing that they love, cherish and respect you and that they will always act in that manner.
If you’ve been through hurt in relationships (who hasn’t?), then trust may feel elusive at times. When our hearts hurt as a result of personal relationships, the natural reaction is to retreat and guard our injuries. Guarding our hearts typically includes reserving our trust for only those times we feel it is deserved.
So what does the Bible say about building trust in marriage?
1. Put your ultimate trust in God, not man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. Psalm 118:8
If we trust God, then he will provide the wisdom and discernment to trust others as needed.
2. When husbands and wives trust each other, the results are beautiful.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs 31:11
This passage describes the virtuous woman, someone we often call the “Proverbs 31 woman,” and what strong words are used to describe the trust of her husband!
3. Trust is believing that love wins every time.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Trusting is really believing that the above verse is true. So if you want to build a beautiful trust relationship on the basis of love, how do you do it?
My Personal Experience
My personal experience for building trust in marriage has been quite the journey. When I look back at the time before my first husband had an affair and we divorced over 15 years ago, then I realize that our trust relationship was so very weak before he ever had the affair. If I can be frank with you, I personally did not understand the importance of intimacy in our relationship. After divorce from my first husband, I truly believe that trust in God is what allowed me to trust again. God has given Matt and I a beautiful redemption story and we are so grateful. I am beyond thankful for my incredible husband and our extremely close relationship.
Fostering Intimacy Fosters Trust
I mentioned my personal experience above, because I’m going to boldly go where I’ve not gone before here on the blog. I can’t emphasize enough how important I believe intimacy is in marriage. Yes, I mean sex, but I also mean a personal closeness that exists no matter what you are doing. Intimacy fosters trust and we learned above that trust is vital to a healthy marriage.
Massage has been proven to supercharge the trusting bond between couples for years. My husband has muscles like tree trunks. No lie. I really wanted a little coaching on how to best give him a great back rub. So I began watching a series of massage videos.
These videos are phenomenal! There is no nudity; they are highly-professional and well thought-out. Because of their modesty and value, I wanted to share them with you.
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Today I’m blogging as part of the 31 days to a Better Marriage on ManagingYourBlessings.com and I’d love it if you would continue to read about building trust in marriage with “5 Things to Do to Build Trust in Your Marriage.”
Have a thriving Thursday!