When life is difficult and especially when loved ones enter heaven ahead of us, it’s hard to pray.
Oh, I know. Grief shouldn’t put a halt on our faith; it shouldn’t keep us from praying. But sometimes we can’t find words to express the depths of our hearts. Sometimes the process of filtering through our minds to lasso a group of words together feels impossible.
Since the beginning of this year, I’ve been intentionally reading the book of Psalms. I only read a few verses or maybe one chapter a day and it’s been a very slow pace. God has a way of taking me to passages I’ve read before many times, but providing a fresh word. A few weeks ago when I read Psalm 102, I scribbled some notes. Today the Lord took me back to the passage.
After losing our precious Taylor to heaven in January, I never stopped praying in my spirit, but honestly, many days the prayers contained no words, only fragments of sounds that managed to escape my lips in the form of moaning and aching. If you’ve been there, then I know you understand.
This afternoon I somehow managed to craft my notes from Psalm 102 into this prayer for when you are grieving. I see you, Friend. I deeply wish I could be the one to sit by you and pray with you. But I’m only human, with limitations. Big ones. So I’ll just share here in the space God has given me and you pretend that I’m whispering these words over you, especially if you can’t grab on to any words of your own.
By his grace,
A Prayer When I Am Grieving
I need you to hear my prayer as I cry out to you.
It feels like you are hiding from me in my distress;
Please don’t leave me now.
I need you to listen; help me know that you are near.
Life passes by so quickly;
My body feels a sense of brevity.
My heart barely beats; I am so saturated with sorrow
That I forget to eat.
Mourning keeps me awake at night and I feel
Utterly alone and abandoned.
Help me remember that while life is temporary,
You have endured forever.
When my soul feels homeless in a destitute world,
You hear the prayer of my grief and embrace me.
Thank you, Jesus.