“What NOT to Say to A Pregnant Woman” Countdown

I love my babies. I really, really do.  I love my children, but I really love my babies.  But what we as women go through to have babies….THAT I don’t love so much.   And then there are so many people in the world who just assume that the public morphing of pregnancy is not cumbersome to some women…

Ok, since it IS part of life…and it IS the way God made it…here are 10 things I would suggest you not say to a pregnant woman.  Especially one that has been pregnant seven times and has heard most of these at least that many times multiplied. 😉

10. How are you feeling?

So do you want the truth, that I feel like I’ve been puking nonstop for at least three months or I’m carrying around a watermelon, or just a smile and “Good! How are you?”

9. Are you pregnant?

This is a dangerous question and unless you want to put yourself in an embarrassing place, just don’t ask.  If you’re right, then this poor woman is thinking “So you just thought I was getting fat(ter) this whole time?”  If you’re wrong, you’re really in trouble.

8. So, got any cravings?

Duh, yes. But unless you spend enough time with me to know what those cravings are, then it is none of your business to ask.

7. Are you going to eat ALL that?

Yes, I am.  I am not sharing and I’m enjoying every bite.   If you want some, get your own.

6. So what did the doctor say?

You really don’t want to know.

5. My ___________ (fill in the blank) hurts.

(Throat clear) Yes, and mine feels brand new.

4. You really have to go to the bathroom again?

Have you been counting or what?  Let’s have you carry a bowling ball around all day and see if your bladder feels a bit weak.

3. Where is that baby going to sleep?

Is that really something you need to know?

Well, we thought we would just pull out the dresser drawer for a couple months until she’s too big for it.

2. You are sooo little!

Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is size.  A great substitute for that one: You look great!

1. Oh, wow.  How much longer do you have?  Really? Man, you are huge.

Ahhh, yes, thank you, thank you very much.

This wonderful compliment should be disregarded in totality, particularly if you are MotoMoto from Madagascar 2.

Hope you enjoyed the silly sarcasm of the day. 😉

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