The Importance of Counting Happy Habits And Devotional Giveaway for Men

happy habits
Post includes a devotional book giveaway for men!

Today I’ve been thinking about the importance of counting happy habits. What do I mean by “counting happy habits?” As a recovering perfectionist, I think having a critical eye comes naturally to me. I can walk in my kitchen and see every crumb on the floor and smudge on the fridge. I don’t even have to look; it’s like a sixth sense for me to see the dirt and flaws in a room. I don’t even have to look in the mirror to see all of my own flaws; they are more than evident to me. This sixth sense becomes a problem when I place routines over relationships.

Relationships and routines are married; each should influence the other in a positive manner. 

When my routine is to examine the carpet stain and brush over the sorrowful eyes of a child who wants to help clean up the mess, then I lose.

When my routine is to see toothpaste in the bathroom sink again and overlook the sweet girl who is doing her best to brush her teeth all by herself, then I lose.

When my routine is to count the bad habits, whether my own or those I love, then I lose.

The running tally in my mind must focus on consistently acknowledging the positive attributes. I’ve found that counting the happy habits is a great way to channel these thoughts. This step comes before I even begin to give thanks. For example, one of my children has the habit of taking his socks off before he plays in the backyard. And those socks seem to wind up in odd places, like under the couch or ottoman. This habit is not pleasing to me and I don’t want this little habit to become a bigger one. But I also don’t want to focus on this “little” habit so much, that this routine defines our relationship. This is where the importance of counting happy habits enters. If I count the happy habits of my children and my husband, then praising them in  the moment becomes much easier for me.

In society today, our focus seems to be on the negative habits to the point of stereotyping. In an effort not to issue labels, I believe counting the positive habits of those closest to us is the key. So I started keeping a mental ticker tape of my husband’s habits that I love. I do it for my children too. I say to myself “I love it when she…” or “He just did it- that thing I love so much.” Just as an example, here’s my current “ticker tape” of counting happy habits of my husband:

  • I love it each Tuesday when he weekly remembers to take out the trash and I’ve totally forgotten it.
  • I love that he prays with each of our children, every single night.
  • I love that my husband always rinses his plates; he never leaves dirty dishes in the sink.
  • I love that he thinks it is so funny to leave the speakers up full blast when he gets out because he knows it will scare me to death when I start the minivan.
  • I love that my husband is reliable to follow through on his time commitments every day for family, ministry, and work.

Interestingly enough, I’ve noticed in the last two weeks that my sweet 3 year old has picked up a new habit. She says “Oh, I love …..” No matter what it is, she’s not afraid to tell you what she loves. Bacon. Apple juice.  When Auntie Mary comes over. When Daddy comes home from work.

Encouraging words carry empowering weight. And that’s why we should use them.

I’m super excited to introduce you to a wonderfully encouraging tool for men, a new devotional, “Man Stuff: Devotional Thoughts on Faith, Family and Fatherhood.” This devotional by Josh Turner holds an incredible number of encouraging words that carry empowering weight. In the amount of time it takes to drink a cup of coffee, your son, brother, father, husband, uncle, grandfather or friend can read heartfelt words to inspire living out Biblical principles.

Josh Turner is a country music superstar, but he focuses on the shining stars of his wife and three children. I thought you would enjoy a preview of this awesome book:

[scribd id=236848047 key=key-XU0qRwVFyH9A2RmB64v0 mode=scroll]

You can find more great information or order it Man Stuff: Thoughts on Faith, Family, and Fatherhood“>right here. I know you’re interested in this book for someone you love, so follow the Rafflecopter and have a wonderful weekend!

but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25

 

Rachel

Related posts:
7 Ways to Praise your Husband for 7 Days
20 Things to Say to Encourage Your Husband

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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14 Comments

  1. Thanks Rachel for the October 3rd post. It really gave me something to “think about” as i muddle over the many loses I am making with my children as a single mommy of four. I think I have given way more to routines as opposed to relationships because I think I’m trying to focus on helping them to become well disciplined children. I don’t want them to end up lazy, unmotivated and uncaring-not caring about their schedules or the environment they keep. In your post you said three words that shook my heart “those sorrowful eyes”. I know those eyes well in the face of my youngest son whom I am extremely challenged to help with organizational skills, cleanliness and just caring about himself. He is so sloppy and unorganized and uncaring that it has been affecting his academics to the point of failing multiple classes in 6th grade. I am exhausted because I have tried everything!!! Checklist, reminders, i get him up the earliest, have him iron and pack at night, i help clean his room almost daily and the list goes onnnnnnn!!!! I am helpless and exhausted and i don’t feel like I can even be positive. I am so low on energy from raising them alone that I just want thins to be “right” so I can get a much needed break!!! Anyway I know God is my helper and hes telling me in my heart that I gotta fix this with my son or else his spirit will be broken. I’m just stumped at how to approach this. I want him to have a healthy heart but I want him to be groomed into a disciplined young man that can care for himself and doesn’t just let “the chips fall wherever”. That’s pretty much what life is like with my son. Thanks again for your post.

    1. Saccole: I so understand your heart’s desires. Motherhood is a difficult balance. Just this weekend, I finished reading a book called “Jesus Prom.” It really has me thinking about whether or not I love like Jesus loves. Jesus cared less about routine than relationship. He didn’t even have a place to lie his head. It wasn’t important enough. Praying for your mama’s heart and the discernment to make the best decisions.

      1. Thanks Rachel. Another grueling moment this morning but I admit it was a little bit easier as I encouraged myself to count a happy habit of my son!!! As i reflected on this i said “I love when my son calls me every afternoon to tell me of something responsible he did at school. I can tell he looks for my approval and i can almost feel his smile through the phone when I say..good job son!!” Thanks for the encouragement gurl!! And even the prompt to further consider if i love ” the way Jesus Loves”. Its tough in our flesh at most times but thank God for the Holy Spirit that helps us and beckons us forward to greater works in Jesus Christ. Praying for you, your needs for your daughter and all your bunch. Your blog is a blessing.

  2. I try to encourage thru sharing God’s word , thru prayer for & with my husband & speaking words that build him up not tare him down.

  3. I think tho book would be a great way to encourage my husband and sons. Thank you for sharing!

  4. This is a new book to me but it sounds like the perfect gift for one of my sons. Thank you Rachel!

  5. This was absolutely perfect! I have noticed the downward spiral for me. I definitely am going to look for the positive habits and not focus on the negative as I have done. I want to speak life to my boys and hubby! Thanks so much for the gentle but pointed reminder.

  6. I absolutely love what Josh stands for and the way he makes it evident in his career. I loved his testimony on IAMSECOND.com. I would love for my husband to have this guide for every day. Thank you so much for sharing this Rachel….and giving us each a chance to win a copy. =) Have a wonderful day.

  7. I like Josh Turner this would be great for my hubs.

  8. I pray for the day my husband is rooted in Jesus

  9. I saw Josh Turner for the first time when I saw him in a children’s video from Sandra Boynton named “Alligator Stroll” It is such a fun video!

    My little boys I play the game of “Your Know What” they answer “What” and this banter goes on a couple of times, and then I tell them positive attributes either what I want to see develop, or what is already there.

    My grown men, my 19 year old, and my husband, I tell them what I appreciate, and thank them.

  10. Mary Lynn says:

    I love the idea of counting the happy habits. I also see only the flaws and problems. My comments to family are negative and critical instead of being veiled with some grace and praise for the happy habit attached to the flaw or problem. This book sounds great! I enjoyed reading the pages here. It is so encouraging to hear men speak so highly of their wives and children because they value them and value their role in leading them with Christ-like love. I look forward to reading the rest of the book and sharing it with my loving husband.

  11. This man seems so down to earth and real. There are not a lot of devos for men and I would love for my husband to get this.
    I like this post today. I will say that when I practice happy and focusing on good, there isn’t a lot of time left for negativity and that trickles into other aspects of life.
    Be blessed 🙂

  12. I saw him on the Chew and wow so much different than I expected him to be. Fame has definitely not gone to his head and he is staying true to his roots…. so refreshing to see

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