My sweet girl, I woke up this morning with you on my mind. The highs and lows of sorrow and joy mingling throughout this week have left me weary. I initially began writing these letters when you could hear me read them to you. Now I find myself asking the Lord how much folks in heaven can see and hear what is happening on earth. Does He allow them to have influence on people and events? … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Sorrow and Joy
Family
Letters to Taylor: On Christmas
My beautiful girl, Merry Christmas! One week ago yesterday, you grew ill so quickly that I was unsure of how to best help you. You’ve barely been able to swallow anything for several days and unless the Lord gives us a miracle, I think this may be your last Christmas on this side of heaven. The pain of typing those words has been soaking into my soul throughout the usual joys of this Christmas … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Christmas
Letters to Taylor: On Tension
Oh Taylor, Here we are in the emergency room, a place I try my hardest to stay away from. When you lost control of your eyelids and your eyes shone like glass underneath, I knew I had to make the call. You had been vomiting even after there was nothing left in your system; I knew you needed more help than I could give. Thankfully, after a second try, we found the right medication for your … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Tension
Letters to Taylor: On Acceptance
Letters to Taylor: On Acceptance You’ve never tried to change me. Hey girlie, The last few days have been rough for you. Of course, “rough” has many different meanings. For you, it means that you haven’t wanted to eat much, your limbs have moved aimlessly without purpose, and seizures shake your body randomly. Yet when I came to sit beside you for awhile just now, you grabbed my hand and … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Acceptance
Letters to Taylor: On Grief
Letters to Taylor: On Grief Sweet T, It’s been a long day and we haven’t even reached the evening hours yet. I’ve only been home an hour and a half, but it took almost that entire time to do enough guesswork to make you comfortable again. And so now I sit here watching you sleep, hoping that the meds and liquids and repositioning and diaper change… that all those things are enough to keep you … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Grief
Letters to Taylor: On Suffering
Letters to Taylor: On Suffering My Sweet Girl, What a week you had last week. On Sunday evening, the dark circles around your eyes caused them to sink. I knew something was wrong but wouldn’t have guessed that you were nauseous. When you began throwing up, your entire body heaving, I could hardly bear it. I would do anything to take your place. How difficult it must be for you to be a … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Suffering
Letters to Taylor: On Dementia
Letters to Taylor: On Dementia You are an expert. My Girl, It’s almost time to turn the lights out once again. Night has come and after preparing you for bed, I’ve paused with my usual thought. Is there anything else you need? I wish you could tell me, but we’ve passed that hurdle long ago. Words no longer come to your lips and now, the only sounds you make are the occasional painful … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Dementia
Letters to Taylor: On Gratefulness
Letters to Taylor: On Gratefulness You’ll never know how grateful I am for you. Dear TayTay, You’re sleeping now, though it’s noon, and it seems that’s all you’ve done lately. Next week is Thanksgiving and I’ve been working on the menu and shopping list. It might seem silly, but I remember how well you ate the sweet potato casserole last year. I’m excited to make it again for that reason. … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Gratefulness