Letters to Taylor On Your Second Heavenly Birthday My dearest Taylor, Twenty-four years ago today, you kept me awake all night. Though still in the womb, you tossed and turned; I tossed and turned. And after hours of labor, you hadn’t budged. As I watched your monitor numbers dip, the nurse called for the doctor. 7 minutes. 7 minutes was all the time it took from the time I was in the … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Your Second Heavenly Birthday
Family
Letters to Taylor: On Significance
Letters to Taylor: On Significance Dear Taylor, 415 days have passed since you closed your eyes for the last time. There is no significance to today other than that. My fingers are shaking as I try to write to you. I desperately will them to work. They do not want to move into the truth that you are no longer living on earth nor do they want to invite in the pain that resurfaces when I stop … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Significance
Letters to Taylor: On Holy Days
Letters to Taylor: On Holy Days My dear Taylor, I have typed your name and now I sit here watching it blur as the tears fill my eyes. I look up to see five more blurry names on the chore chart. My blessings in the form of babies, only they are far beyond infancy. The youngest baby is now 8 years old and their ages span to a senior in high school this year. Each child is unique in their … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Holy Days
Letters to Taylor: On Grief’s Learning Curve
Letters to Taylor: On Grief’s Learning Curve My dear Taylor, With everything in me, I am longing for you to slip your hand into mine as you did so often in the last couple years of your life. It was my sign that you longed for my comfort and without words, I knew your spirit was alive. I have procrastinated in writing to you because the pain is so deep. Eleven months have passed since … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Grief’s Learning Curve
Letters to Taylor: On Moving
Letters to Taylor: On Moving Dear Taylor, I’ve paused for quite some time after typing your name because the reality of your absence floods over me again. O my sweet girl, what a long ten months it has been as I’ve tried to learn how to live without you. Time has marched on since you left us, but my pace has slowed significantly. I feel a bit behind time all the time and yet I refuse to … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Moving
Letters to Taylor: On Your Birthday
Letters to Taylor: On Your Birthday My dear Taylor, Happy Birthday in heaven. While I have no doubt that you’ve experienced an incredible party with Grandma Charlotte and many friends, I dreaded the actual day. One of the hardest places in grief is having the wisdom to know when to share the sorrow and tears and when to protect your daddy and brothers and sisters from my emotional tsunami. … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Your Birthday