Letters to Taylor: On Moving Dear Taylor, I’ve paused for quite some time after typing your name because the reality of your absence floods over me again. O my sweet girl, what a long ten months it has been as I’ve tried to learn how to live without you. Time has marched on since you left us, but my pace has slowed significantly. I feel a bit behind time all the time and yet I refuse to … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Moving
Family
Letters to Taylor: On Your Birthday
Letters to Taylor: On Your Birthday My dear Taylor, Happy Birthday in heaven. While I have no doubt that you’ve experienced an incredible party with Grandma Charlotte and many friends, I dreaded the actual day. One of the hardest places in grief is having the wisdom to know when to share the sorrow and tears and when to protect your daddy and brothers and sisters from my emotional tsunami. … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Your Birthday
Letters to Taylor: On Weeping
Letters to Taylor: On Weeping My sweetest Taylor, I’ve barely begun to type the words to you and tears flow down my cheeks faster than I can wipe them away. I’ve avoided writing to you because it’s agonizing and it doesn’t feel like the gaping wound in my heart is healing. We’re just a few days away from seven months since you left us for heaven. It’s all still so strange. Life without you … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Weeping
Letters to Taylor: On Heaven’s Scent
Letters to Taylor: On Heaven’s Scent My dear girl, Tomorrow will be six months since you left us for heaven. I stood at the beach last week staring at the waves as though they represent life without you here. Sometimes I’m on top of the wave, enjoying an incredible view, and other times I’m drowning in salty grief. To say that I miss you has become so trite. There must be another word in … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Heaven’s Scent
Letters to Taylor: On Freedom
Letters to Taylor: On Freedom My Girl, It was July 4, 1999. Your bouncy pigtails danced in the evening light as we walked the field where my mama grew up. I remember how busy and beautiful you were at age 3. When darkness fell and your Uncle Chip began shooting off fireworks, panic struck your sweet face. The dazzling night sky didn’t wow you at all and you screamed against the loud booms. … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Freedom
Letters to Taylor: On Forgetfulness
Letters to Taylor: On Forgetfulness My dear girl, The ache of missing you is waking me in the middle of the night. It’s been a couple weeks since I sat down to “talk” to you, to write out the thoughts that continually float around in my head and surround my heart. I’ve been avoiding writing to you because it hurts so deeply to pen the words and stare at their starkness. Every letter to you … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Forgetfulness
Letters to Taylor: On Procrastination
Letters to Taylor: On Procrastination Sweet T, I miss you. To say that I miss you doesn’t even begin to explain how I feel. My heart holds a void like I’ve never known before. I’ve been looking back at our lives from the past few years and pondering over the decisions our family made while you were living. I analyzed the choices on what we did and did not do. I’ve spent many hours … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Procrastination
Letters to Taylor: On Numbness
Letters to Taylor: On Numbness My sweet girl, I have not wanted to write to you in the past couple weeks. I knew that as soon as my fingers began to type words that I long to speak to you in person, tears would fall, and pain would surge into my soul full force. I’ve felt numb more often since my last letter to you and I’m not sure which is worse. Numbness to dull the pain while knowing it’s … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Numbness