Letters to Taylor: On Heaven I don’t know how you do it. My girl, We made it through your shower and now you are sleeping peacefully. Friday was such a good day that I thought maybe you were on an upswing. After not smiling for months, you smiled right at me! Your eyes said, “Yes, you’re my mom and I love you.” You did the same thing for Daddy. So precious. Don’t worry; I heard you loud … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Heaven
Family
Letters to Taylor: On Anger
Letters to Taylor: On Anger You’ve never shown anger and yet you have so much to be angry about. Hey there, my girl. You’re sleeping again this morning after barely eating breakfast. The house is quiet and I’m trying to work in my office below your room. It’s not working out so well. I have my lists and I’m ticking off each task as usual. But my mind wanders and I find myself wondering why … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Anger
Letters to Taylor: On Control
Letters to Taylor: On Control You’ve lived each day with your body refusing to be under your control. Morning, Tay. I’m thinking you’ll wake up any minute, but it’s strange how I keep checking to see if you are still breathing. My eyes play tricks on me because the rise and fall of your chest is barely there. Paranoid much? I’ve discovered that I’m not afraid of death itself as much as I fight … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Control
Letters to Taylor: On Expectations
God put writing in my DNA. I don't quite understand it, but He did. So while our family walks this journey of Taylor's progressively slow decline, I felt impressed to write letters to my girl. I decided she would want me to share them with you. Letters to Taylor: On Expectations You are different than the baby girl I prayed for. I wish I could do something. Anything. But instead, I sit here … [Read more...] about Letters to Taylor: On Expectations
A Letter to My Son on Father’s Day
Dear Son, When I was your age, I wondered if I would ever have a family of my own. I pondered what my husband would look like and how many babies I’d have. Whether they would be boys or girls. What color hair and eyes they would have. Who would you look like? What would you like to eat? What would you NOT like to eat? And so my imagination ran with thoughts of raising my own family. As a … [Read more...] about A Letter to My Son on Father’s Day
Real Ways to Encourage Young Moms
I’ve been a mother for 21 years now. The act of typing that out alone seems strange to me. At times, it has all been such a flash of diaper changing, nursing, potty training, first days of school, holidays, birthdays, and summer breaks. Amid all the highlights and memories are the ordinary everyday days. You know the ones I’m talking about? The ones when it seems that no one slept through the … [Read more...] about Real Ways to Encourage Young Moms
5 Ways to Love Your Spouse When Life Is Hard
This post has been brewing in my head and heart for weeks. I've been watching my sweet Taylor girl grow thinner and weaker, fighting a battle that she never requested. When your child is dying, and especially during the stages of suffering, grieving becomes the norm. Grief doesn't wait for the day of death. No, grief begins long, long before then. I'll never forget the day that Taylor's … [Read more...] about 5 Ways to Love Your Spouse When Life Is Hard