AND THE WINNERS ARE:
You’ll receive an email! Thanks for your comments and you can click on the giveaway photo above if you’d like to purchase the ebook!
Today I have the privilege of hosting Sheila Gregoire and introducing her awesome ebook, 31 Days to Great Sex for Married Couples. I had the privilege of meeting Sheila and eating a meal with her at Allume. She is quick-witted and fun; her material is Biblical and informative, as well as practical. Here’s what she has to say:
It’s 11:15. You’re in bed beside your husband when the nightly monologue in your head starts anew:
“Is he asleep yet? I wonder if he’s waiting to see if I’ll make a move. Do I want to make love? I’m awfully tired. But I’ll feel guilty if I don’t. Okay, I need to get up by 6:30. That’s 7 hours and 15 minutes. If we had sex right now, how long would it take?”
As your conversation with yourself continues, you realize that if you had jumped your husband in the first place, you’d have been asleep by now!
Sex and motherhood don’t always seem to go together.
We’re exhausted, we have people hanging on us all day, and we desperately want some time to ourselves. Many of us would much prefer a bubble bath—alone—with chocolate. All too often sex seems like just something else on our never-ending to-do list.
It’s easy to blame our husbands for this. “If he just accepted me and helped me and loved me whether or not we had sex, we’d have a better marriage!” Yet that’s not being fair. We women need to feel loved to make love. Men tend to make love to feel loved. It’s easily a recipe for disaster! But perhaps there’s a way out.
Too often we equate sex with something that is only physical. We make love so that he’s not “so desperate”. But what if sex is supposed to connect us intimately, on all levels? God designed sex so that it would connect us emotionally and spiritually, and not just physically. And when we put off sex, one of the reasons we start feeling badly about our relationship is that we feel like something’s missing. And that missing ingredient is intimacy.
So how do we get it back?
Understand Your Own Libido
In movies, the couple always falls into bed while ripping each others’ clothes off. Both are obviously aroused.
But that’s not how most women work. Rosemary Basson, from the University of British Columbia, found that in women desire is usually a product of making love, not the cause of it. In other words, most women don’t start out making love “in the mood”. They get in the mood because they decide to throw themselves into it, and once they start, their bodies catch up.
Believe the Benefits that Sex Brings
When you’re exhausted and run down from caring for kids, sex is often one of the best cures. When you make love, you sleep better! You fall asleep faster and your sleep is more productive. So spending some time being more active with your husband, even if you’re tired, will help you feel more rested.
Finally, the more intimate we feel with our husbands, the better we’ll feel about ourselves and our marriages. Our marriage is the rock that lets us be good parents. And once you’re a parent, your marriage matters more, not less, because now other people are counting on you! If we stop making love, then we often feel distant from our husbands. And it’s hard to raise kids, or to even feel positive about yourself,
when you feel like that intimacy is missing.
Make This Into Your Own Research Project
God designed us for an abundant life full of passion–passion for Him, and passion for our husbands. Why should we settle for less? Sometimes we’re just exhausted. Sometimes sex doesn’t feel that great, and we wonder what all the fuss is about. Yet a rock solid marriage is the key to so much happiness, satisfaction, and joy. If sex has become something mediocre, or become something on your to do list, don’t settle for it! You were designed for more. God was the one who created us to feel intimacy in such a weird and wonderful way. Why should we miss out?
Yet where do you start? If sex has always been ho hum, and you wonder what all the fuss is about, how can you fix that? Or if you find that it doesn’t feel intimate, but it’s something that’s always rushed, how can you make it more meaningful?
That’s why I wrote the 31 Days to Great Sex. It’s 31 days of challenges that take you step by step through building a great and intimate sex life. Each day has one to three pages of readings, and then a challenge. The first week we focus on the lies and misperceptions we sometimes believe about sex; the second week we focus on emotional intimacy; the third week on physical fireworks; and the fourth week on
spiritual intimacy in the bedroom.
Couples have told me that the best benefit was that it gave them a vehicle for finally communicating together. And it’s only $5 (and it comes with coupons you can put in your husband’s stocking to make it a Christmas gift). Get your downloadable copy here!
Leave a comment about why intimacy is important to enter to win one of two giveaway copies of The 31 Days to Great Sex. But don’t be afraid to buy it now; if you win, and you’ve already bought it, Sheila will send you a copy of her paperback The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, a more expensive book!
Sheila is an international speaker, columnist, and the author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. She also blogs everyday at http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com.