5 Ways to Cultivate Your Marriage in the Midst of Stress

Do you find yourself facing stress and wondering how to keep your marriage together in the midst of it? Even the fairy tale marriage is not exempt from tension! Check out these tips to keep the love alive in your marriage in spite of stress!Stress? What stress? Whether you’ve been married for ten minutes or ten years, you’ve experienced some kind of stress along the way, right?  Maybe it has been finances, illness, accident, injury, disease, or some other earthly trouble. Marital stress exists in all forms. The question is:

How do we cultivate a thriving marriage in spite of stress?

On Sunday afternoon, the girls and I went to watch the movie, Cinderella, while the guys of the family went to play footgolf and frisbee golf. The movie visually stunned me and in spite of knowing the storyline, I felt myself anticipating the glory of the pivotal moments. In case someone reading plans to go see the movie, I don’t want to disclose too much. But essentially both Cinderella and Prince Charming journeyed through stressful times, before they ever even made it to the marriage altar. Even the fairy tale marriage is not exempt from tension.

Today I wanted to share 5 ways to cultivate your marriage in the midst of stress. Each of these hints have been gained through my own experience. My husband and I have endured the death of a parent, the death of family members, the death of friends, financial struggles, terminal illness of a child, job changes, miscarriage and the list could go on.

1. Keep the communication open in the midst of stressful times.

It’s so easy to get centered on the daily grind when extra stress has entered the picture.  The focus to get through another day can cause our voices to disappear. My husband and I are not big morning talkers. We joke at the fact that we can both say nothing for the first hour of the day and be perfectly content. Regardless, remembering to talk to each other is a courtesy you don’t want to lose, especially when life is stressful.

2. Schedule time to be alone together, even if it’s only for a half hour.

When a loved one is in the hospital, someone usually stays with him or her. If your spouse is staying away overnight for a stressful reason, then be sure to schedule time together the next day. Even if you just take a quick lunch break together or take a walk to relieve a little stress, this short time can be rejuvenating.

3. Determine that the stress is going to draw you closer.

My daughter’s sickness has taken a toll on our family more in the last year as she has declined. Although we have in-home healthcare to help with her needs, even this can become stressful. People are always coming and going and sometimes we crave sitting down to a meal without an “outsider.” While our current staff is mostly family or ladies we’ve grown to love, we’ve gone through many stages of trying to find the right balance to caring for Taylor ourselves and having help. In the midst of all the transitions, we’ve determined that the stress will not tear us apart, but draw us closer.

4. Make the most of “small” moments.

Write a note, buy a card, be sure to pick up his favorite coffee at the grocery store…put a letter in his lunchbox, make an easy dessert for a normal weeknight. Embrace life on a daily basis.

 5. Plan hallmark events to create purposeful memories.

This tip is not as simple as the ones listed above. It takes a little more time to figure out what event you’d like to highlight or when you can obtain the resources and time needed to create a lasting memory. Whether you have a married getaway or anniversary celebration, take the time to plan an event that will give you the opportunity to laugh and love without dwelling on the stress.

Wisdom for Wives Conference

I feel like we could spend a ton of time discussing this topic, but the cool thing is that at the Wisdom for Wives conference, one of the sessions will be covering this very topic to nurture your marriage in the midst of a storm. So be sure to check out all the conference material and in the meantime, I’d love to know:

What do you do to cultivate your marriage during stressful times?


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Wisdom for Wives Online Conference

Have you ever longed for a time of refreshment as a wife?

Do you wish for the opportunity to soak up wisdom from a mentor?

Are you striving for a thriving marriage?

I’m honored to introduce this brand NEW beautiful online conference just for wives!

wisdom for wives conference

Wisdom for Wives Online Conference – 14 sessions

This conference is designed to provide encouragement and inspiration through 14 sessions you can watch anywhere or anytime. Not only do you have the opportunity to participate in the conference, but the sessions are prerecorded and available to watch again and again! Topics include:

  • Developing a deeper understanding of how God designed marriage
  • Cultivating a thriving marriage in spite of the daily grind of life
  • Strengthening your intimacy with your husband
  • Easing your husband’s burdens through prayer

Conference Notebook Included in Registration

In addition to the sessions of the conference, you will receive a notebook (.pdf format) where you can take notes and refer to them as often as you desire. This awesome notebook is full of additional resources and links to further strengthen your marriage.

If you register before May 5th, then the cost of this conference is only $29.97! With early bird registration, you will also receive 3 bonus .pdf resources and access to the private conference Facebook group.

The Wisdom for Wives Conference is designed to come alongside you to help you have the kind of marital relationship you’ve longed for– a marriage that will bring you closer to the Lord and to your husband!

wisdom for wives sneak peek

The above is a sneak photo preview of the pre-recorded session, Praying for My Husband.

I’m truly excited to be a part of this incredible opportunity for wives today! The conference design and format makes it so affordable and flexible for any woman to enjoy, regardless of her schedule or current life demands.

Register for the Wisdom for Wives Conference and take advantage of this incredible opportunity to refresh your marital perspective and purpose!

What questions do you have?

Have a thriving Thursday!


Building Trust in Marriage

build trust in marriage

Building Trust in Marriage

What does “trust” mean in a marriage? How do we really show trust? Does it mean foregoing prenuptial agreements? Giving one another full access to our bank accounts? Living with one another day in and day out, flaws, failures and all? Admitting every sin we’ve ever committed to our spouse?

When I think about the word “trust,” I believe that trust is having a belief in a person that no matter what, he or she holds your best interest in their heart. They will always do their utmost to treat you with respect and dignity and never desire to harm you in any way. When you trust a spouse, you are believing that they love, cherish and respect you and that they will always act in that manner.

If you’ve been through hurt in relationships (who hasn’t?), then trust may feel elusive at times. When our hearts hurt as a result of personal relationships, the natural reaction is to retreat and guard our injuries. Guarding our hearts typically includes reserving our trust for only those times we feel it is deserved.

So what does the Bible say about building trust in marriage? 

1. Put your ultimate trust in God, not man. 

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. Psalm 118:8

If we trust God, then he will provide the wisdom and discernment to trust others as needed.

2. When husbands and wives trust each other, the results are beautiful.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs 31:11

This passage describes the virtuous woman, someone we often call the “Proverbs 31 woman,” and what strong words are used to describe the trust of her husband!

3. Trust is believing that love wins every time.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7

Trusting is really believing that the above verse is true. So if you want to build a beautiful trust relationship on the basis of love, how do you do it?

My Personal Experience

My personal experience for building trust in marriage has been quite the journey. When I look back at the time before my first husband had an affair and we divorced over 15 years ago, then I realize that our trust relationship was so very weak before he ever had the affair. If I can be frank with you, I personally did not understand the importance of intimacy in our relationship. After divorce from my first husband, I truly believe that trust in God is what allowed me to trust again. God has given Matt and I a beautiful redemption story and we are so grateful. I am beyond thankful for my incredible husband and our extremely close relationship.

Fostering Intimacy Fosters Trust

I mentioned my personal experience above, because I’m going to boldly go where I’ve not gone before here on the blog. I can’t emphasize enough how important I believe intimacy is in marriage. Yes, I mean sex, but I also mean a personal closeness that exists no matter what you are doing. Intimacy fosters trust and we learned above that trust is vital to a healthy marriage.

Massage has been proven to supercharge the trusting bond between couples for years. My husband has muscles like tree trunks. No lie. I really wanted a little coaching on how to best give him a great back rub. So I began watching a series of massage videos.


These videos are phenomenal! There is no nudity; they are highly-professional and well thought-out. Because of their modesty and value, I wanted to share them with you.

This special promo is for the readers of RachelWojo.com, with 20% off the retail price for LIFETIME video access to these incredible massage techniques. Visit MELT: Massage for Couples today! 20% off ends March 31, 2015


Today I’m blogging as part of the 31 days to a Better Marriage on ManagingYourBlessings.com and I’d love it if you would continue to read about building trust in marriage with “5 Things to Do to Build Trust in Your Marriage.

Have a thriving Thursday!