Building Trust in Marriage

build trust in marriage

Building Trust in Marriage

What does “trust” mean in a marriage? How do we really show trust? Does it mean foregoing prenuptial agreements? Giving one another full access to our bank accounts? Living with one another day in and day out, flaws, failures and all? Admitting every sin we’ve ever committed to our spouse?

When I think about the word “trust,” I believe that trust is having a belief in a person that no matter what, he or she holds your best interest in their heart. They will always do their utmost to treat you with respect and dignity and never desire to harm you in any way. When you trust a spouse, you are believing that they love, cherish and respect you and that they will always act in that manner.

If you’ve been through hurt in relationships (who hasn’t?), then trust may feel elusive at times. When our hearts hurt as a result of personal relationships, the natural reaction is to retreat and guard our injuries. Guarding our hearts typically includes reserving our trust for only those times we feel it is deserved.

So what does the Bible say about building trust in marriage? 

1. Put your ultimate trust in God, not man. 

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. Psalm 118:8

If we trust God, then he will provide the wisdom and discernment to trust others as needed.

2. When husbands and wives trust each other, the results are beautiful.

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Proverbs 31:11

This passage describes the virtuous woman, someone we often call the “Proverbs 31 woman,” and what strong words are used to describe the trust of her husband!

3. Trust is believing that love wins every time.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7

Trusting is really believing that the above verse is true. So if you want to build a beautiful trust relationship on the basis of love, how do you do it?

My Personal Experience

My personal experience for building trust in marriage has been quite the journey. When I look back at the time before my first husband had an affair and we divorced over 15 years ago, then I realize that our trust relationship was so very weak before he ever had the affair. If I can be frank with you, I personally did not understand the importance of intimacy in our relationship. After divorce from my first husband, I truly believe that trust in God is what allowed me to trust again. God has given Matt and I a beautiful redemption story and we are so grateful. I am beyond thankful for my incredible husband and our extremely close relationship.

Fostering Intimacy Fosters Trust

I mentioned my personal experience above, because I’m going to boldly go where I’ve not gone before here on the blog. I can’t emphasize enough how important I believe intimacy is in marriage. Yes, I mean sex, but I also mean a personal closeness that exists no matter what you are doing. Intimacy fosters trust and we learned above that trust is vital to a healthy marriage.

Massage has been proven to supercharge the trusting bond between couples for years. My husband has muscles like tree trunks. No lie. I really wanted a little coaching on how to best give him a great back rub. So I began watching a series of massage videos.

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These videos are phenomenal! There is no nudity; they are highly-professional and well thought-out. Because of their modesty and value, I wanted to share them with you.

This special promo is for the readers of RachelWojo.com, with 20% off the retail price for LIFETIME video access to these incredible massage techniques. Visit MELT: Massage for Couples today! 20% off ends March 31, 2015

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Today I’m blogging as part of the 31 days to a Better Marriage on ManagingYourBlessings.com and I’d love it if you would continue to read about building trust in marriage with “5 Things to Do to Build Trust in Your Marriage.

Have a thriving Thursday!

Rachel

3 Christian Principles That Ground Sean & Catherine’s Marriage

Special note: While I don’t support the show, The Bachelor, in the spirit of supporting Christian marriages, I am choosing to encourage Sean & Catherine in their faith. I’m proud of their stand and this post, 3 Christian principles that ground Sean & Catherine’s marriage, is a great example of love that gives.for the right reasons

This is an exclusive guest post written by The Bachelor’s Sean Lowe. Sean fell in love with Catherine Giudici and they married in a nationally-televised fairytale last January. But this is just the beginning for the newlyweds. 

In his new autobiography, For The Right Reasons, Sean tells all about the backstage drama that fuels The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, how he overcame heartbreak to find his true love, and the personal struggles and Christian faith that have made him the man he is today.

Staying Humble  

One thing I’ve had to learn during our marriage is to humble myself each and every day. Having to be right about something can quickly lead to butting heads over even the smallest issues. If I’m not willing to humble myself, I’ll just go on believing I’m right regardless of what Catherine says, because in those situations, I’m not really listening to her.

I have to get humble and slow myself down. Then, I can listen to her point of view and we can really start to talk things out. As newlyweds, this isn’t easy for either of us, but it’s something that we both realize is important.

Putting Catherine’s Needs First

I’ve also learned the importance – actually the necessity – of putting Catherine’s needs before mine. I truly have to be concerned about her well-being above my own. Having recently been a single guy, this is tough! It goes against all human nature about self-preservation, but that’s why it’s so special. It’s marriage, where two become one. In a sense, I’m not just putting her needs above mine, I’m putting our needs above my own selfish desires.

Letting The Small Things Stay Small

Forgiveness is important in any relationship. Even when there’s not something really serious I need to forgive Catherine for, forgiveness is essentially the act of letting something go.

Every now and then, something as small as where we’re going to eat dinner on a particular night can start an argument. I’ve got tell myself, “Hey, Listen! It’s not that big of a deal. I love my wife with all my heart. I’m going to put this behind me and move on.”

Anything can become a big deal if you make it into a big deal, but that’s just it! Picking a restaurant is not a big deal, it’s a small deal – a very small deal. Letting those small things stay small things can always be a challenge, but it’s so important!

Sean Lowe

 

Learn more about Sean’s new autobiography here, For The Right Reasons, America’s Favorite Bachelor on Faith, Love, Marriage and Why Nice Guys Finish First

 

** Post includes affiliate links. See full disclosure policy here.

15 Ideas on Ways to Pray for Your Husband

ways to pray for your husband

 

This weekend I was thinking heavily on ways to pray for my husband. Due to some changes at work, he has been working long hours and though he is strong, I know that intervening to God on his behalf will provide strength from above. Though I have a phone reminder set to pray for him each day and I also pray for him every morning and night, I really wanted to focus on praying for him for the next two weeks. So I did a little research and today I wanted to share with you 15 Ideas on ways to pray for your husband that I really love.

1. Revive Our Hearts ministry from Nancy DeMoss has a 31 days of praying for your husband idea list.

2. Wendy Blight at Proverbs 31 ministries offers 6 Scriptural prayers for your husband.

3. Renee Swope has a wonderful printable that I love on praying for your husband from head to toe.

4. IMom has a great printable bookmark on 10 Ways to Pray for Your Husband.

5. Last year I wrote a post on 7 Ways to Pray for Your Husband for 7 Days.

6. My friend and fellow Tommy Nelson mommy has an awesome prayer idea that gives a hint for each hour of the day and a printable that would be great for the fridge. Or you could use her idea and place phone reminders in your phone.

7. I contribute at The Better Mom and we have a beautiful set of printable prayer cards for organizing prayer time, especially for your husband.

8. Kathi Lipp has written a book completely dedicated to praying God’s Word for your husband. She offers a free printable bookmark with six verses to pray for your husband.

9. My friend, Darlene, at Time Warp Wife, offers a free printable pack of prayers cards with 31 ways to pray for our husbands. 

10. Darlene has written a post on 5 Hard Things to pray for your husband and it is really on point. I know you’ll want to check it out also.

11. Women Living Well offers a short practical list to help us remember to pray for our husbands.

12. Unveiled Wife has written a post with 25 verses to pray over your husband.

13. Jen at Unveiled Wife also offers a wonderful reminder to pray for your husband daily- a prayer of the day email list to which you can subscribe.

14. One of my favorite authors, Lysa Terkeurst, has written an encouraging post on 5 Scriptures to pray over your marriage.

15. My friend, Sheila Gregoire, has a great post on praying the right thing for your husband. Her quote is so thought-provoking!

Bonus: Be sure to check out a Prayer of Thanks for My Husband and for more encouragement, a well-loved printable on 20 things to say to encourage your husband.

Happy Monday!

Rachel