Family Adventure Time: Not for the Faint of Heart

Today’s Agenda:

  • Place: Columbus Museum of Art
  • Time: 1pm
  • Activity: Family Adventure Time

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is a scavenger hunt through the museum designed for families with children of multiple ages.

And I accepted the mission. After all, there are no current admission fees.

When you have seven kids, “free” is good.

However.

Once travelling along the tour, docent in place, I smelled something. Rather strong. And I immediately knew:

This is not good.

Sweet Tessa baby had decided to unleash her fury in the form of bodily function. And her diaper decided to be somewhat uncooperative. Well, more than somewhat. Fully uncooperative.

I quietly ask the docent where the restroom is, thankful that Aunt MaryBeth was on this trip and I might have the chance to make a quick diaper change. But I was given the news:

I’m sorry. There is no restroom on this floor.

So fearing the results of Baby T’s diaper wrath, I quickly spotted what appeared to be a leather chair (Thank you, Lord, for the animal who sacrificed his hide to produce this chair.) And I gingerly lifted my precious bundle of joy out of her seat, only to discover the reason for her joy was that her tummy had to be feeling much better in its empty state.

This conclusion was drawn based on the fullness of not only her diaper, her shorts, and her seat, but also the drippage from the car seat down to the actual stroller seat.

Quickly I cleaned her up and continued on Family Adventure Time.

About this time, my dear husband texted me:

How’s the museum?

My reply:

Well, Tessa decided to explode and there is no restroom. Had to change her on some artsy fartsy chair. Guess that was abstractly appropriate.

Him:

Cool. We can call it “Fecal Essence.”

You can’t make this stuff up, People.

If you read my blog, you know I really try to make a spiritual application from our journey through life. God teaches me so many great lessons through my children.

But the best Scripture I could cling to today:

Phil. 3:13

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a stroller to clean.

Comments

  1. Trina Cunningham says

    So Rachel……thank you soooo much for your post today. I needed a laugh. This made me laugh out loud. I can almost hear Matt saying “fecal essence”!!!! Thanks:)

    • says

      Glad our little outing could give you a laugh. :) Yep, if you know Matt, you can imagine my response at his return text. The whole thing was just too crazy. ;) God is good; all the time. :)

  2. says

    My first thought is how resourceful you are, way to go supermom! Having a sense of humor preserves our sanity!!!

  3. Mary Beth Faile says

    We had a great time. Hopefully, the sculpture hallway didn’t scar our kids’ minds forever. haha I think next time we will skip the guided “family” tour so we have more control on what our kids see and hear. Talk about educational….wow.

  4. dtdorrin says

    Ha! I’m always amazed and impressed by moms and their ability to roll up their sleeves and do what has to be done…even when it involves malfunctions of diapers. As someone who isn’t a mom, I salute you and moms everywhere!