Don’t Tell Me Just to Keep Going
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Last week a couple of my friends got together for a rare girl’s night chat. We had such a great time catching up with one another and although each of us was tired when we arrived, we were all so glad that we made the time in this busy season of life.
Our discussion led to books (I know, you’re totally surprised, right?) and some of what we had been reading this summer. Then we chatted about how some books are ones that we can relate to easily and we feel like the author “gets it.” And then there are those that from the title, seem like they would be fabulous, but somewhere into the book, you lose touch with the author. The message changes from relative to “preachy” and the book never gets finished.
Some of you know that I signed my first published book contract this spring and right now I’m working feverishly as my manuscript deadline is mid-September. While the book is more than half written, the conversation from last week prompted me to get real and boldly ask for your help. What I haven’t yet told you is that the core concept of this book is perseverance. I know, that’s a pretty general topic but most of you reading understand that there are a few priorities here on the blog:
1. God’s Word is everything to me and without his love letter, I don’t know where I’d be.
This is why I create topical verse lists and I enjoy sharing Bible study material, topics, and ideas with you.
2. Prayer is central to enjoying a personal relationship with God.
Without communicating with Jesus each day, I am a mess.
3. The above items are what keep me going and I’m constantly looking for ways to inspire you to keep going too.
Life is hard. Circumstances get tough. Jesus is all we have.
Back to the book writing though, I don’t want you to pick up the book when it releases next September, start reading it, and then lose touch with my heart in the book, put it down, and forget about it.
And when I think about the topic of perseverance, I get a bit defensive when I hear other people say things like:
Oh, you just need to keep going.
Keep on going; you can do it.
Just take the next step.
Those statements are all great advice; don’t get me wrong. I say them. I use them. I believe in them.
But I know that in my deepest, darkest pits, I need more than a few words. I need someone to crawl in that pit with me and share how they crawled out. I needed someone to get inside my head and know that my thoughts were making me crazy. That this situation at the time was so much bigger than me and I felt swallowed up completely.
Crazy enough, the sermon I heard on Sunday, after the book discussion on Thursday, was on perseverance. Whew, people. That’s how God works. He uses people in your life to ease the journey. Honestly, I don’t have a zillion fabulous quotes from the sermon. I didn’t come home with a ton of book material. Why? Because I was uniquely in tune with the message- the man of God was sharing his heart. He talked about his deepest pit and a very scary time in his life.
I was so busy catching his heart that I didn’t have to try to catch his words.
You know what I mean?
Don’t tell me just to keep going.
Anyone can do that.
So I really need your help today. Tell me what kept you going in your very worst time of life. Tell me what you need to read in a book on perseverance. Tell me what you would tell the world if you had a book contract and you wanted every person to pick up the book and say, “Now I can keep going. Even though she didn’t tell me to do that.”
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Rachel
When my Dad was very sick a few years ago, my world had quite literally been turned upside down. When I look back at this time, there are a number of things that stuck out to me in the way I persevered.
1. The assurance I was not alone, that God was carrying me through
2. That he had a plan, it wasn’t the plan that I had hoped for but by trusting that he had complete control, gave me a peace that stopped me from falling apart.
3. When I did fall apart, I took comfort in the words of the bible Isaiah 43 v 1-5 was a verse that kept coming up. I listened to worship songs that reminded me that God was bigger than what was happening in my life.
4. I hated the uncertainty of not knowing how things were going to work out and what I found helped was surrendering my worries daily (mostly more than once a day) .
Although my worst fears became a reality, I can see how God has used this season for good and the knowledge of where my Dad is helped me through after his death.
I’m not sure if any of this is helpful but I pray that you will find what you need for your book.
Thank you so much for sharing that, Rachel. It is very help and I appreciate your vulnerability so much. Prayers for you and blessings to you.
I had some dark days (2 years to be exact) when my marriage crumbled. With three children under 2 I was forced to get out of bed each day and I just remember hours upon hours of tears. I wish I could find it – but it was a beautiful prayer to God for his help – just for the next moments. Oh what a prayer…I posted it in several places and referred to it constantly.
I seen your beautiful prayers on Pinterest and I’ve used them! Never mind getting through the day when times are tough – just through the next moments. They add up!
I lost the prayer and could never find it again…but it was my connection with God’s love and grace! Please add a prayer to your book like the one I had…
Thanks for all you do!
JoAnn
that is a wonderful suggestion, JoAnn! I surely will. Blessing to you and thank you for coming by.
Joann- hopefully you’ve seen this prayer from today. I couldn’t remember all the details around the request earlier, but as I was reading through these comments again, I wanted to drop it in here for you in case: https://rachelwojo.com/prayer-for-the-moment/ Blessings to you!
Good evening to you all,
I have been praying for God to use my testimony to help women who might be going through what I went through.
Last night I posted a comment and just now the Holy Spirit reminded me of what I had been praying for so I know this is going to help some if you.
In April of 2013 I began to suffer from anxiety, depression and had a couple of panic attacks.
I went through 2months without sleeping. It was the hardest time of my life. I too thought about committing suicide one long night. I know what you are feeling because I went throughout it.
I was married for one year and was asking my husband to leave because I didn’t want him to suffer with me.
I looked for psychiatrist, psychologist, medication researched hours and hours about all this.
I remember one day as I prayed I asked God to become my psychiatrist and to help me sort out what I was going through.
I cried out to God so many nights and what began to happen was miracle after miracle.
What I do realize is that the perspective that one person might have of one situation might not be the same for another and what I mean by this is that God allows certain things to happen to change us but, we must open the door and our hearts and be willing to trust Him even if it is one day at a time.
God helped me realize all the hurt I had inside, lies that I had told and was holding on to from years even things I had never told my husband, teenage years that were very rough filled with bad desicions, a closed heart as a result of loosing my mother to cancer and seeing her sick for 10 years, a bad relationship with my parents, and what made my life so hard was a non ecxistant relationship with God.
I didn’t know God like I do now and didn’t have a relationship with Him. I grew up with my mom who was a Jehova’s witness and a catholic father. I had no exposure to the word of God nor did I know how very necessary it is to have a reaktuinshio with Him and my knowledge of His word was all wrong due to Jehovas witness upbringing.
The first thing that God did for me was become a Father and the way he worked in my life was just amazing. I watched a movie one night called The perfect stranger and realized what kept me from trusting Him was that I was judging God based on the relationship I had with my parents. It was that night I cried out to Him and asked to become my Father to allow me to feel like a loved child.
I made a promise to completely stop investing my time searching for “the cure” for what I was going through wether it was a doctor, medicine, therapy instead use that time to read the bible, listen to worship music and spend time praying.
Praying became the best part.
I had a spare bedroom that became so special to me as I go every night and just pour my heart out. That bedroom became such a special place sometimes I would spend over an hour praying. I found such comfort.
Little by little day by day one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time God began to heal my heart, repair it and teach me to trust Him.
I discovered so much about myself. I was able to forgive my parents and not only that but I can honestly say I love them so much and can see now how wrong I was for judging them and bring such a rebel.
Everything The Lord put in our lives has being such a blessing.
I prayed for someone who I could trust with what I was going through so I met a girl who’s parents were missionaries and pastors. It all seemed like a coinsidence but they were answered prayers one after the other.
Listening to worship music would make me cry and it still does.
It was the hardest most beautiful year of my life.
In September 2013 I learned that I was pregnant and as I type this email I’m holding my son. He’s 3 weeks old today. Lukas.
We were also able to purchase our first home eve though I’m not working. My husband found the job he had been praying for.
So believe this us something I had to go through to be who I am today. I’m a mom who wants my child to know God the way I know him and I pray he makes that a priority in his life.
I’m a different person today.
I realized also that we all have bad, sad days but I now know that God is the God if the impossible. If He healed me. He can heal you but he won’t force you. You have to wake up everyday and do your part. I didn’t feel like living anymore but I would still wake up out my headphones on and go for a jog while listening to my favorite christian radio station.
Allow God to show you the way. Allow Him to lead.
He is faithful. Don’t let the enemy convince you that there’s not hope that your situation will never change. It will but you have to do your part.
I pray for people going through depression and anxiety everyday. I pray to use my testimony if it’s His will.
Don’t give up. Take courage. You have God on your side. I know it’s hard but to God nothing is impossible.
May God use this testimony to give you the hope you need today.
What a beautiful, glorious testimony!! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us; you are an inspiring witness of hope, sweet friend!!
Rachel, it is surely a BLESSING to meet you!! I found you through our ‘shared’ ebook “Marriage Hacks” and cruised right over to be amazed and delighted by your incredibly faithful voice and mission here and in your upcoming book! I am now your fan and follower… how I could I not be? 🙂
I love this post- and your ability to delve deeply into the raw and gritty side of perseverance… You speak such wisdom and truth about authors and in their best intentions, losing the reader with “Just keep going” mantra-style messages.
In my own muck puddles, I have felt shattered and torn and broken to pieces that I longed for God to miraculously glue back together again in that instant… much to my dismay, that didn’t happen. Over and over again… new puddles, new much- same faithful wish.
Being ‘in it’ is terrifyingly lonely… because there is this place one goes when they are broken that Satan loves to pull them to. This place of ‘alone-ness’ and ‘despair that no one can ever understand’. Isolation is what I believe to be the greatest source of weight that holds us ‘under’ in are various mines within our own unique battlefields…
I’ve always found refuge in two things to keep me surviving, holding on, and grasping that tiny mustard seed of hope.
1. Someone’s hand. And God provides the most surprising hands!! Not the ones we expect… they are crafted by our personal creator for a purpose. It just takes one hand… to feel the suffocation stop and the bits of air inhaled back in to our war torn existence. One hand. I have even had that hand be a stranger, a doctor, a casual friend and even a family member that I would never expect to even have a hand, much less one to hold on to! God provides a hand… in the most miraculous places, at the most deliberate time. This ‘contact’ to pull us to a new place of perspective looks differently every time- the hand and the use of it is designed to keep us from giving up, and when we reflect on it after the storm? We see how it was exactly what we needed.
2. Stretching outside my muck puddles, if only to breath and take in God’s vision and the big picture of our lives. I must look back at His Record, and trust that this too is in HIS Plan and there is PURPOSE in this pain. I must cling to this truth over and over again… beyond my madness, and hold tightly the hope that this will be turned into something mighty and meaningful- as every fall has in my journey with Him. I often have a mantra- “With every fall to my knees, He raises me higher.” *In His Precious Time.
I can’t wait to read your book, my new friend! I’m confident, it will engage the readers and take them to the very last page!!! God bless you and your serving, inspiring heart!!!!
Bless you for your wonderful encouragement and stopping by to introduce yourself. I’m excited to introduce Marriage Hacks to my subscribers tomorrow! 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing your insight!
The most beautiful thing I’ve learned is God’s perseverance is different for everyone. God has carried and sustained us best when His people are clinging to Him. that seems to be the commonality. But as for how we preserver, it appears our great rescuer saves us all in different ways. Trivial details to some that change the entire outlook of others and no two stories are alike.
I know gravitate toward the hurting, just wanting to hear their words and be with them. Since I can’t share their awesome stories, here’s a piece of my own.
We’ve faced a couple very hard obstacles, from tragic deaths, health, and finances (job loss).
When I was sick, I finally let go of whether I lived or died, but either would be relief. Spoiler alert, I’m much recovered now! Still recovering with nasty autoimmune issues remaining and it may be a lifelong battle. But by me looking better on the outside, I lost friends because I couldn’t physically be as active as I used too or do a lot of the same things. I’m judged for not being able to work (told to just press on and “everyone feels tired”), modifying every days schedule so I have energy to make it through the day. Judged for taking natural approaches to health/life. What got me through my deepest sickness was the prayers of others. I was too sick to read, talk or even pray. Those who stuck around to just sit next to me or text me bible verses for when I was strong enough to read, this was huge. Two years later, I’ve had to let go of what others think and I’ve learned people tend to only see as far as their personal experiences. So everything looks ok on my outside appearance and they filter it through their own life’s experiences and judge me to their standard. but I can’t change what they will think or feel. I had to learn to let go of feeling negativity toward their words or the desire to have them understand the “why”.
God has guided me (and my husband) great places. Many leading specially to failure as Gods plan A. Several people told us we misheard God. Our pastor told us we heard what we wanted to hear. Why with years of following God and knowing His beautiful voice would He all of the sudden put us in a vicious path of constant major failures/ health, one after another? It broke my faith down to the foundation. But now, I’d go through it again in a heartbeat. My health brought us (and our daughters) to move in with my parents. 8 months later my dad was killed by a driver who was late and not looking. For my girls and myself to get those glorious 8 months is a gift I’m so grateful for and a recovery process my mom could have never handled. Looking on the outside as the failures have ceased, I can see the blessings. Each failure was the path that brought us to their house and it took all those steps to get us their. Seven years have taught us to appreciate every penny and eat very simply while making every meal stretch/ while finding true completeness and joy in our hearts even though we are living without anything except survival. The trials pulled out of the allure of the American dream and have “needs” totally redefined. We can truly see those who are hurting and truly listen with intent to learn and love them instead of teach/lead. The Lord changed my perspective on serving and ministry and showed me the true power of prayer and hearing Him thAt I was too busy know before and be submissive enough to let others help where I cannot.
We have experienced years of back to back serious trials and it did show us that God always provides. Not usually in our way but food gets on the table and love in our heart. What kept me strong in the trials was remembering the first half of my Christian walk when I had experienced Him so clearly and in great ways. I clung to the memories of past, like the Jewish people cling to the stories of Yahweh’s provision to never forget the goodness He gave. So if I was facing misery after misery, it had to be for good reason as He had never lead me astray in the past. I had a friend going through similar trials and we inspired each other, seeming to always have opposite good/ bad days and upholding each other. I had to learn to control my mind and each thought captive when I found (I still find) myself doubting God/ what I heard from Him/ my situation. I have a list of who God is, I needed to remind myself of those truths daily. I reminded myself that by trusting God it meant not everything would be “good” on this side of Heaven but it would be Good. That I am not meant to control the outcome or worry of the situation but wait for God to place the coming path before me in His time…. Which when the trails turned to years this became harder yet easier after a breaking point. I learned to stay positive in anything as to not be consumed by the negative. I filled myself with Him as much as I could. Praying, reading and I actually do the only christian music thing. My weary soul was/is aching & recovering from so many burdens that I need to be constantly fueled. Two Years ago in the thick of everything I actually set an alarm and every half hour would stop and pray away anything I was subconsciously worrying about. It helped me loads. Every path is chalked full of wisdom and unexpected blessings that continue to me. the best lessons I learned was in perseverance of others.
I’m praying for your new book! Such a great topic!
Bless you, Girl, for praying. I can’t thank you enough for that. Without him, I got nothing.
I have recently started a religious blog where I post every day. Some of my friends started to make stupid jokes about my blog. Some of my friends have just ignored me. I grew up in an atheist family so my parents are bullying me about my religious beliefs. My mom always tells me to wear shorter skirts and jokes that I look like a church girl. I am 18 years old and I absolutely believe in God. I also believe it is important to defend defend what you believe. I am posting in my blog every day no matter what others say. And I am wearing modest clothes. English is not even my native language ( I am Ukrainian), but I still think it is important for me to write in English in my blog so that more people find out about God and more people believe in him and develop closer in a relationship with Him. I am not going to give up. God gives me strength. It is extremely hard to keep going. But God is with me and I am not going to stop. Because I believe that what I am doing is right. Because what I am doing is more important then what others think about me. God is worth it. And helping other people to believe in God and be saved is also worth it. So I am not giving up!
I admire your boldness for Christ, Kristina!! Thank you for stopping by and thank you for your no-quit spirit. God is your fortress and he will not fail you. Blessings to you!
Thank you!
Rachel
Perseverance… When life is so incredibly hard, your exhausted & tired of fighting perseverance is a very hard thing to have. There have been times when I was so tired of fighting that I had no idea how I was going to make it through the day. But prayer, God’s Word and strong Christian friends are what gave me the perseverance I needed. One night as I sat alone crying yet again and asking God why things had to happen I felt Him wrap is loving arms around me and whisper to my soul, “Be Still my child and Know I am God”. The love and peace I felt in God’s Presence and His Word gave me the strength I needed to make it through the next day and through the one after that. And with the love, support & prayers of strong Christian friends who came alongside me and picked up the things I couldn’t juggle I made it through the storm. When times get hard I look back on those days and see the big picture of how God was in every detail and that gives me the perseverance to face the hard days.
Praying for you as God gives you the Words He wants to share through you.
I was in a meeting where the leader shared from Psalm 23. The part that spoke to me was from verse 4, “Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou are with me”. Christ doesn’t leave us in the valley, He walks through it with us. And that’s just it. We don’t STOP there! We walk through it! I suffer depression and there are days that are so, so dark. I have to remember that He is with me and we are walking through valley to the green pastures beyond. We are not staying there. The refreshing water and rest is waiting, but we have to keep walking. And He will walk with us. He promised! “And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
It’s so comforting to me.
I would have to say that during the past 8 years of my life I have learned perseverance in ways that looking back astound me. I know exactly how God has kept me going through the hardest and darkest times in life’s journey. It is through His constant reassurances. Let me explain. Ever since I began to depend only upon the Lord and His will and His supernatural strength did I begin to notice the messages of reassurance He would send me sometimes multiple times in a day. Even today I know without a shadow of a doubt that He is communicating messages of assurance to my spirit and my heart so that I won’t curl up in a ball and wait to die.
Examples of these assurance messages vary. Lines from song, scriptures sent by text or email from someone, a comment made by a stranger, a phone call from a friend, or even just the physical touch of His presence are all meant to assure me that He continues to be in control even when the storms of life encircle me. Just when I think I am about to loose it, He comes along through another in order to say to me, “Jessica, I see you. I know you are hurting and I know this is hard. I know that you are growing weary and you have begun to wonder if I am really going to stand by my promises to you. Don’t worry, my sweet one. I am working on it right now and have only your best in mind. I love you so much!”
After receiving a message of assurance from the Maker of the stars, I cannot help but persevere. I know that He is for me and not against me. I know that He has a plan to prosper me and not harm me. I know that He desires to bless me and not curse me. And many will ask, “Jessica, how do you know these things?” and my response will always be, “For He has never shown me anything different.”
oh so beautiful. Thank you, Girl. Blessings to you.
After suffering multiple miscarriages and marriage storms God was ever present. As a professional counselor there were times when my skills meant absolutely nothing. One of the best things I learned was its ok to tell God ALL of my hurt, anger and disappointment. Second, when people asked me how I was doing…I told the truth. Now don’t get me wrong, I told trusted women of God details but I was honest. There were some days when I didn’t need a scripture…I just wanted to be where I was emotionally. God is not afraid of our dark moments and they will come but even then…He is still there. There were days when I tried to pray and I would simply tell God I’m in pain and I’m trusting you because I don’t even know what to pray for but thank you and please speak to my emotions.
In those moments faith is all you have and I have learned to allow my prayer partners to tell me where they are and I know how and what to pray for and against. The key is not to tell anyone in a hole they can get out…sometimes it is just acknowledging the hole. While at the time they don’t have the strength or desire, someone on the outside can intercede. Then at some point they learn to intercede for themselves. God will at times allow those “holes” in life for His glory to manifest. The moment a storm hits people usually want to pray you over it instead of through it not intentionally. Lastly, people in despair are cloaked in shame because people get uncomfortable and judgemental because we often don’t like the storms only the joy. Words aren’t always necessary…presence and intercession can be just as helpful. Does this make sense?
So many beautiful points in your comment. The last few sentences are critical. Yes, yes. Those friends who say, I’ll just sit here and pray for you. Those are the friends we need to be. xo
Some years ago there were some very dark times in my life. I was losing a very special person to cancer. I had friends and loved ones surrounding me, but they were grieving themselves or just had no idea what I was going through. I took comfort in reading the Psalms. But, I had a book in my library I had yet to read. It was titled Let This Cup Pass From Me by Jane McWhorter. I clung to every word and drew much comfort from it. Jesus suffered so much, to a degree we will never fully appreciate. It is so comforting to know he understands our difficulties and has compassion on us. He truly is all we need.
Hi Rachel, I didn’t have time to read the many responses you already have… but some of mine would be…keeping on looking for those small things that are blessings that most of the time we take for granted – a warm strong house when there is a bitter winter wind blowing; a meal; a good view… you get the idea…
Being disciplined to keep up with reading God’s word and praying, even when it all seems dry.
Praying – when we ask God for encouragement, He does provide it – in all sorts of ways…He delights in surprising us with His ways, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, because He is always faithful, but it seems to get me every time how He takes things we feel impossible and proves over and over that He is the one who does the impossible!
I was in one of the lowest points in my life, found myself strolling thru the library and stumbled upon Max Lucado’s “In the Grip of Grace”. It was the hardest book for me to sit and read through, and yet it was the best book I ever held..
I’ve read a ton of Max Lucado, but not that one. Adding to my books to read list on Pinterest. Thank you!
Amen to all the comments above! One more day. One more step. Often that’s the way I do life. I’m grateful for one more day and to be able to take that step. At this moment i’m recovering from surgery #32. I am grateful that this time the surgeon did a great job. It’s been 40 yrs of rheumatoid arthritis. Along with that clinical depression kept me down and out for 30 yrs. I no longer deal with it, and honestly can say it was much harder than the RA.
While I in my flesh would have loved to have had a different life, I am grateful for all the opportunities (otherwise known as trials) the Lord has given me in the development of an intimacy with Him I wouldn’t have otherwise. I feel privileged. I don’t like any part of the pain and suffering, but i’d do it all over again just to know and love Him as well as I do.
Along with so much of what has been said by others, i’d say praise and worship help me more than anything. Just me and Him and my not so good voice. ( i asked Him one time how He could handle my voice and He immediately responded that He hears me through His heart) I love life, but I can’t wait to be physically with Him. I read people’s stories about heaven a lot. They help me remember that this is only a bleep in time and then I get to go home. Standing on the word is hugely helpful. Joel 2:25 is actively happening in my life. I also need to be in an anointed bible study. Joni Eareckson Tada has helped me tremendously. Esp her book “A lifetime of wisdom”. Advice in general doesn’t help me as much as the wisdom gained through suffering. I can’t use milk to help me survive the severe pain. I need real meat. I gain so much from people who have suffered far more than I. Sadly, there are many. It doesn’t matter what form of suffering as much as lessons learned through it and how that person handled it. I read a lot to encourage myself. Another book I love is “Extreme devotion” put out by the Voice of the martyrs. Reading one story a day keeps the self pity away!
Last but not least, gratitude and forgiveness are continually essential for me. I, most often, need to forgive myself and all my failings. Thankfully I am complete in Him.
absolutely beautiful, Sharon!!
Perserverence . I can’t truely say I have that in me. My son became addicted to well anything illegal from the age of 16. No matter how much “Perserverence” I had by continuing to love him, pray for him it didn’t make a difference. But my Lord took my burden when I came to him with nothing left. I cant change my son but he can, and he took my guilt of feeling like a failure and gave me the Perserverence to continue to pray and live and love. My life is by far easy as my son is now 21 and in prison. But my God reminds me he will never leave me or forsake me and where I can’ t he can. When I can’t take one more day without my son or knowing that he is lost with out the Lord in his life, he reminds me that he has all the Perserverence to carry me through it all. Ive had alot of struggles that without him I would have given up on myself and my family, but he gives me what I need through his word his love and his promise every day. When I have a hard day he gives me hope of tommorrow and reminds me through him all things are possible.
Such a strong word for us, Cindy. Bless you and thank you for difficult pieces of your heart.
I have spent the last twelve years moving through the trial of my son’s heroin addiction, trying to keep my daughter’s life as “normal” as possible in the chaos, repair my marriage that was rocked to it’s core by my co-dependent behavior and rebuild my health. I have been blessed through each “season” of the journey with family, friends, health care professionals and co-workers who spoke God’s love into my darkness, some for a brief time, others for the long haul. I believed then, and know now that God was so busy growing all of us through this- even my reluctant friends who said it was “just too hard to be my friend”. Nothing that happens in our lives has no purpose that is not preordained by God for His ultimate purpose- focusing on that- knowing I could only see the underside of the tapestry, not the whole thing- kept me going.
I grew up in a home with very young teenage parents who were divorced and remarried.Domestic violence,alcoholism,mental illness and infidelity were all things I grew up around.I was also molested as a kid (not by my parents)and suffered some trauma.I also suffered from mental illness myself.I remember nights begging God to let me die and as a teen I tried to kill myself twice.One of my parents is dead now and I felt a lot of guilt for not forgiving sooner,but I also felt a lot of anger.It was through God I began to realize that they are human too and God loves them and wants to forgive them just like anyone else and that I should love them fully and forgive as well.It’s been a hard road and I grieve for my parent that died and all that that person has and will miss in this life all because of a addiction.I have also been through a child with health issues(now healthy) and a cancer scare.(thankfully that turned out fine)It would be nice to see a book address that topic of mental illness since it’s so stigmatized especially by churches and so many Christians.What has helped me is knowing God does love me and no matter what has happened in my life he still loves me and that it will all be okay and that hard times in life really can still teach us things.I can help others who go through depression and bad times in life because i know what its like to be there.I also know that I am strong even when I feel weak because I’ve been through things and I’m still here standing so I just have to keep pressing on.There is so many things that I thought would never happen for me that did happen.Sometimes the best thing we can do in life is have patience and trust in God even when we don’t feel his presence.He is there..
I have read most of the comments above and they all speak truth. For me, I need to hear real life stories of perseverance besides the things listed above. Knowing that someone similar to me made it through the messiness of life and how God persevered after them to keep them going. You’re right it’s not just saying “keep on going”, “you can do it”, it’s knowing that when everything else and everyone else seems to have left our sides, we still know that God desperately loves us and His strength and grace will pull us through to persevere to the other side.
So excited for your book and praying as you put your heart on every page. Love you friend!
Thank you, dear Mary! oh how He loves us. Blessings to you!
I am desperate for perseverance these days. As a woman fueled by topsy-turvy hormones, I must daily choose to act out of truth and not mere emotion. My feelings may be significant, but I have to take them back to God again and again. “Help me get through this mess. You’re the only One who can!” I have to keep handing over my dreams to Him, asking Him to renew a dream for the here and now. I think it’s only when I am willing for Him to do that change can I really persevere. When I still hold onto what I want when I want it, I feel stuck–unable to persevere on the path He has for me.
What kept me going in the midst of the darkess days of my life was knowing I followed a God who IS good…ALL the time. Knowing that my pain & suffering was NOT in vain, but DID have a purpose behind it. Realizing I DIDN’T have the right to know the reasons, but the right to TRUST His reasons. Most importantly, I had to remember His mercies were knew EVERY morning & to just focus on THAT morning as I hadn’t received His mercies for tomorrow…yet. I knew if I focused on tomorrow I would be focusing based on my strength alone & not God”s strength within me. Can’t wait to buy your book Rachel!
You are too sweet. Thank you sooo much for the input. Your words are so important. Yes, I’m still mulling over all these precious responses a few days later. 🙂
For me, it has been giving myself permission to feel and express what I am going through at that time. Anger is ok. Grief is ok. Depression can be acknowledged instead of ignored. Being real with God IS to keep going. And then you find yourself doing the thing you were sure you couldn’t do (keep going). And so on and so on. You build a true relationship so incrementally, that you aren’t even aware your continuing. Some days it sure feels like the pit, but one day we look up and find we’re miles from the pit, and the light seems a little brighter. Don’t be afraid to be real with God and real with yourself.
Heart Hugs, Shelly <3
Sometimes when I’m struggling, I seem to be in a reality fog. I must remind myself that things may not be as bad as “I feel”. I often make them worse by eating junk, bad sleeping and stinkin thinkin. This scripture and these steps from Charles Stanley are kept in my purse for easy access. Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
1) Openly talk to God in a Spirit of thanksgiving.
2) Make a deliberate decision to affirm my trust in God.
3) Remind myself: God knows what’s going on and in His timing He will help me.
4) Continue to worship Him thru the ordeal.
5) Thank Him for what He is doing and the good that’s going on.
I’m also involved in Celebrate Recovery where I’m exposed to people with bigger issues than my own. I have opportunities to reach out and help them and they are also reaching out and helping me. It’s not just for drugs and alcohol. It’s a great support ministry for anyone with Hurts, Habits and Hangups.
It’s also helpful when people remind me that it won’t last forever and I’m gonna come thru the other side. We can pray and ask God for endurance.
1 Peter 1:6 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.
I have a different view of it. I have been in two abusive marriages and thank God that I was able to pull myself out of it with his help. When I was younger my attitude was where there’s a will there a way and if you can’t find a way, your wills not strong enough. My sadness comes from family and sometimes friends who don’t like or want the perseverance and strength I have been able to muster up to move forward. As I have gotten older, I am realizing that I, by choice, am becoming more isolated and unsure of myself, my thoughts, my ability to function in a happy state. I guess my perseverance is finally leaving me and I’m just too old and weak to keep it going. Even writing this I wonder if anyone reading is going to think, “Well, she just needs to get over herself”. I hear that a lot from my family so I’ve quit talking to them period. I’m already down, confused, scared and have a big sense of worthlessness. I realize I don’t even laugh anymore.
As for the words I would love to read and hear…. That I’m not crazy, that I do matter, that my thoughts are important, that someone else has been where I am now and made it out of deep despair. To show me how to fill the many voids in my life and to get back that perseverance, spirited self I used to be so long ago.
Thanks for your time.
amy
Oh Amy. My heart surely breaks for you. You are not crazy. Your life counts for God. And God loves you so very much. I wish I could just “insert book here.” Your perspective is what I needed today. That God wants me to write from those rough places in life so he can use it to bring people closer to him. Hugs and prayers for you today.
I too have been in an abusive relationship (emotional, verbal, sexual perversions, abandonment) and by God’s grace found the strength to separate myself from the toxic environment for almost 2 months now. Perseverance to move forward after 16 years of marriage to this person is not something I have mastered but desperately want for my life. It’s hard to let go of someone you have struggled with, prayed for, cried with for so long. I know I have to move forward (one day at a time) – if I regress and reach out by communicating or texting him (in hopes he is getting help) only to be disappointed. Then I know that tomorrow is a new day and I can begin again…
Loneliness, Despair, unworthy feelings are all lies from the enemy of our soul. We have to be quick to identify them as lies, use Gods word to rebuke (repel) them and stand firm on His promises for our lives! He truely wants us to be happy and feel His Love and Joy; Some days you just have to begin again, like I did today!
For me it depends on the day. Some days, when I am told, “It’s really not that bad. He (my son) is doing well,” it encourages me. I feel like they accept us and see potential. Other days it makes me really mad because I feel they are not seeing things, paying attention. I want to advocate and do everything I can to help him be successful and pretending he is “normal” (whatever that is) doesn’t help do that.
I think listening is the biggest help and then gauging comments on that, asking God for guidance in our words of encouragement. That way they really have their heart spoken to, through us.
Knowing that I am not alone and that many parents have gone before me helps. Knowing that God is constant when life is not and my emotions are not also helps.
I needed to read this today! I’m really struggling with depression and anxiety and feeling like something is “wrong” with me because I can’t seem to just get through it. Thank you and know that you are being used by God!!!
Thank you for this post. We often don’t know what to say when a friend is going through a hard time, and when we are struggling, sometimes our friends fall short of the kind of support we need. When you feel hopeless or far away from God, first of all, even if you don’t feel like it, open the Bible and read. Anything. Pray that God will open your eyes to see exactly what he wants you to see. He really does want you to be happy, and he will show you a light if you open his word.
Sometimes you can’t dig yourself out, or your mindset might be too dark to see any light. Instead of trying to do it all alone, you need your friends and family. You need to ASK. Out of love, people truly want to help, but for me, I don’t want to give unwanted advice, even if I offer to listen when you don’t want to share. Ask your people to pray for you, even if it makes you feel vulnerable. Give specifics. I need prayer for a broken heart, prayer for finances, prayer for slipping faith, etc. Prayer changes things, but if you can’t ask for what you need, you won’t get it.
When all else fails, what works for me sounds cliche. Fake it til you make it. Put that smile on. Get dressed up. Talk about the good things in your day, even if it was just your breakfast. Oftentimes, you can brighten your mood by faking positivity that turns into something real.
God bless!
Katie
What really helps me keep going when I just feel I can’t is to rember who God is. To really remember about His character and how focusing on Him takes fear, anxiety and silly thoughts away. I also, think about bible stories and testimonies I have heard and all of people who God never failed. I think as I’m praying. ” I’m praying to the same God of all the amazing miracles in the bible, the God of Abraham, of Moises of Joseph…the more I focus on God I’m reminded of all He has done in my own life and how faithful our Heavenly Father is.
Amen Stephanie. He still performs miracles today.
The biggest thing that keeps me going is the let go of all the “shoulds” and just focus on the first step. I have struggled with depression on and off for probably 15 years now and I frequently drop all the balls. It is so easy to get frozen at that point, and I often do. Then I remember that I dont need to pick up all the balls right away. So I just pick up the first. For my housework, that means I just clear my table. For my walk with God, I just read a passage in the Bible. Focusing on the small and simple steps is what keeps me moving forward. Also, I have a clear picture of what I want things to look like. I set goals and visualize the end result but then ignore all the messy stuff in the middle so I can focus on what is directly in front of me.
yes, yes, yes. Just the next step. Great advice, Tessa!!
Hi Rachel,
Jesus talks to me through different messages, all of them ultimately to keep going. All of them necessary for where I was camped in that particular season. Peace, Job, Psalms, 34, 37 40, 91, 116, 118, the Book of Isaiah, the Gospel and letters of John, strength, forgiveness, trust, fear, promises, etc. Jesus was faithful to speak to me exactly what I needed in the season.
What hurt most was as you mentioned of just buck up, or just trust him, can’t you just turn it over? What was the most helpful were the people who listened, and just let me talk, and then directed me to the scriptures that helped them and prayed with me, and helped me express my feelings to Jesus. Those who were willing to be involved with me, and also shared how they made it through, were the lessons I learned from and remembered the most and now use myself, and with other people.
Blessings,
Joanne
Amen to Scripture. So, so important. Thank you, Joanne. You always contribute such great insight.
Psalm 94:18-19
I cried out, “I am slipping!”
but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me.
19 When doubts filled my mind,
your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.
I don’t know if it helps or not, but vs 19 is true for me.
Thank you for your honesty. Be blessed 🙂
amen. Thank you dear Friend!
When me and my husband were going through a marriage catastrophe, I didnt know perseverance .I wanted to quit. I was so far deep into my “hole” that I couldnt see any glimpse of light. I just wanted to die! I had just killed my marriage, shook my husband to the core. I had made him question everything he has ever known about me and himself! What have I done? But through all my selfishness, hate,
disgust, and regret,perserverence showed itself! It showed itself through my children and my husband. The day I messed up, Jesus spoke through my husband on forgiveness for me. With my husband being quick to forgive, perserverence had now arrived. Watching my husband love me and forgive me and want to still be here with me , showed me what perseverance was. Through all the muddy pits and highest walls, we had learned to carry one another when the other couldnt go any farther. With God we are winning race for our marriage and family. I had truly experienced Gods love and forgiveness through my husband. So all that to say this…. Keep holding on, help is on the way!
I’ve been through the “desert”, the “back side of the desert” since mid 2005 and I can tell you I have read reams of paper, devotionals, teachings, books, research material and of course the precious Oracle of God, my Bible. There just isn’t a magic recipe unfortunately. God brought different mediums (see list mentioned) just at the right time when I needed it but most of all it is the Holy Spirit who brings into remembrance all that God has said to me…. He has showed me the end from the beginning regarding my circumstance. let me back track a little, when “life” happens, we HAVE to turn to His Word to find His counsel regarding the situation, in prayer and fasting if need be. Then God begins to teach and teach and teach by all kinds of mediums….even music. It is the work of the Holy Spirit that brings us comfort, reminds of all God has said to us personally regarding our circumstance, that brings encouragement through people, a verse, a song, a devotional. They just fall supernaturally in your lap just as you need it. I think one of the big lessons God wants to teach us is that He is who He says He is and He does what He has told you He will do – period. We struggle in the waiting, the persevering because we are impatient and start to doubt. No one can teach anyone this lesson but God. It really is that personal. He will not have you look at man (and please I mean this in the correct context as God uses people to encourage and teach too). I think the reason we are instructed by God to read His Word to renew our mind by the work of the Holy Spirit. As in Abraham’s case, he kept believing, he kept going on…..we don’t read of anyone encouraging him. He just believed AND THAT is the work of the Holy Spirit that no man can boast:-). I hope you hear my heart in my comment:-)
Kind regards, NikkiG
loved this. and you are so right. Jesus is what we have. On the days I am defeated God reminds me of scriptures.